Bicycle Built for Two
by Mertz
Summary: My answer to the KAEX Challenge of broken. Has a few expletives for fair warning. Enjoy!


Hello,

This is my entry for the KAEX challenge of broken. Enjoy!

I make no claims to Voltron or any other WEP character.

Until next time...

**Bicycle Built for Two:**

Leaving Keith's office with his ears still burning from his latest ass chewing, Lance McClain grumbles under his breath about certain friends being backstabbing jerks who don't know how to lighten up. He didn't do anything serious for God's sake. How can doing a high-speed fly-by of a castle tower be bad? So what if Nanny happened to be there or that the wind force knocked her over with her skirts flying over her head? No one but him saw her ridiculous pantaloons with blue and white polka dots.

Hell, who even wears pantaloons anymore? Just old, grouchy women like Nanny. He snorts in derision to himself as his mind carries on. Ugly women, who want to hide their hairy legs! Though, with those long, stupid skirts, no one would see them anyway! One would think those stupid things would have gone the way of the dodo birds!

He kicks at a bit of nothing on the floor then continues on his way with his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. Keith threatened to give him patrol duty the day of Buttertrappe's Annual Festival of Flowers. The dance that wraps up the festival is legendary. Every single beautiful woman from every nearby village attends. Most fight for a chance to dance with him. What a jerk! How could Keith think of taking that away from him?

Turning down another hall, Lance takes the steps down into the repair bay. He finds Hunk next to Red Lion, looking at the data-pad in his hand. Walking up to the lion, he runs his hand down the cold metal leg while asking, "How is the old boy?"

"He'd be better if you didn't treat him like a Mustang," Hunk grumbles back at him. Swiping a finger over the screen to switch applications, he continues his complaints, "You blew out another circuit board. That's the fourth one this week!"

"Yeah, at the rate you're going, you're going to fry the entire data center," Pidge adds as he jumps down from the top of the lion. "These are delicate machines, Lance. Not toys!"

"Delicate my ass," he retorts while rolling his eyes. "These are war machines!"

"Which makes it not a toy!" Hunk all but snarls at him.

"Would you two get off my ass?" Lance demands, his own anger growing. "Keith already chewed it off once today."

The two men exchange a look that clearly states they would love to continue to chew him out, but they fall silent. Instead, they return to looking at the diagnostics on the data-pad. Bored listening to them talk techno lingo, Lance wanders around the lion and over to the far wall. Spotting something there he never thought he'd see on Arus, he calls out, "Hey, where did this old-fashioned bike come from?"

He hears the sound of booted feet then Pidge and Hunk appear. Moving toward the bike, Pidge answers, "It came in the last supply run for Keith."

"What the hell does he need a bike for on Arus?" Lance puzzles while roughing the back of his hair up.

"What do you think he's doing with it?" Hunk retorts, still irritated with him for being rough with Red Lion. "He's riding it, you moron!"

Tired of being ripped into, Lance turns away, "Since you two are being dicks, I'm going to my room."

Neither man says anything to the contrary. Lance pats Red Lion on the leg once more then walks out of the repair bay. He is so sick of everyone taking everything out of him. Maybe he should teach them a lesson. As he heads back up the stairs, an idea begins to form in his mind.

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Sitting at the lunch table the next day, Keith can't help continuously glancing at Princess Allura. She dressed in one of the new uniforms, the black and blue fabric clinging to her curvaceous form in the most awe-inspiring ways. She catches him looking at her and winks, her lips curving into a secret smile. The twinkle in her eyes reminds Keith of all the reasons he loves her. Coming up with new and inventive ways to spend time with her has been the greatest of challenges.

He didn't want to be like those bozo princes that come to court her, flowers in hand while spouting pathetic poetry. Or worse, candle lit dinners on a terrace…so cliché. Trying to be unique though, has been difficult. While Arus is a very different planet from Earth, there just isn't the same amount of opportunities. There are no fancy four-star hotels or restaurants. The planet just hasn't recovered enough to bring that kind of commerce in yet. Instead, Keith has focused on things that have always brought him joy.

For their first date, Keith took Allura to the Singing Falls. A place he accidently discovered when scouting for Doom troops on horseback one day. One of the locals explained the legend to him and he couldn't resist it. He took her for a horseback ride one afternoon. The first time the wind blew through the canyon, Allura was mesmerized by the musical sounds. He took her by the hand and led her behind the falls. The musical secret is the crystals that developed over thousands of years. With the wind and the water, the sounds coming from them could inspire the hardest of hearts. A sound like the most musical of wind chimes, echoing through the valley.

The only bad thing about that date is, Keith set the bar very high with it. Though she hasn't complained, he can tell Allura has been a little disappointed with their last few dates. He didn't know why the idea of taking Allura for a ride on a bike came to him. However, he couldn't shake it. Bicycles are something he has not seen on Arus. His excitement when it arrived was palpable. Even Allura noticed his strange behavior that day. He needed to test it out before trying to take the princess on it. After all, he didn't want to risk injuring her. It took several hours before he got away and was able to take it for a ride. The old adage, "It's just like riding a bike," is definitely true. Though, he hadn't ridden once since he was a child, it was like he'd always been on one.

With their scheduled date this afternoon, he can barely contain his excitement once more. As Allura stands to leave the room, Keith rises and meets her at the door. Taking her hand within his, he leans forward to whisper in her ear, "I can't wait for our date."

She looks up into his eyes, a smile slipping across her face and sliding up into her eyes, "Neither can I." Leaning forward, Allura kisses his cheek then says, "See you in two hours."

Once she leaves the room, Keith barely glances at Lance before heading over to Hunk and asking, "Are the alterations completed so I can take my bike for a ride later?"

"Yes, Cap," he answers, a goofy smile on his face. "I finished it this morning after practice."

"Excellent," Keith replies, a large smile on his face as he heads for the dining room door.

So engrossed in his own plans, Keith fails to look over to see the speculative gleam in the lieutenant's eyes.

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Running a brush through her hair a final time later that afternoon, Allura examines her appearance in her mirror. She left her long hair down, only a little pulled back on the sides, just as Keith likes it. Wearing an amethyst, halter-top, sundress that emphasizes her full breasts and small waist, Allura examines how the full skirt flows as she spins. Stopping at her knees, the skirt just gives a teasing glimpse of her perfectly tanned thighs as it flies around her. Stepping into her favorite, gold, strappy heels, she buckles them then stands. Satisfied with her appearance, Allura picks up the lip-gloss and glosses her lips once more before turning around and leaving her bedroom.

Walking down the hall, she muses over her relationship with the Commander of the Voltron Force. Initially, Coran was skeptical of Keith's courtship, but had eventually seen her point of view. It is hard to fight against love. Nanny tried to outright forbid it. A small smile slips across her face in remembrance. The old woman started with the reasons why she should marry a prince. When that failed, she started screaming. Through it all, Allura simply smiled and told her that Keith is her choice.

Their first date was one she would never forget. Strange she had never heard of those falls and the beautiful music they make before that day. Poor Keith, he keeps trying to eclipse that date. But, how can one do better than perfect? And that is how that day will live in her memory forever, a perfect afternoon.

A deep, blissful sigh escapes her. Every moment she spends with Keith is perfect. Wondering what he has planned for today, Allura works her way down to the entrance of the castle, their agreed upon meeting place. Nodding to the castle guard on duty, she pauses when she finds Keith wearing a backpack and standing next to an odd-looking contraption. Slowing her steps, she asks, "What is that?"

"On Earth, it's called a bicycle," he answers with a bright smile on his face.

"A bicycle," she repeats, walking around it to examine it. A steel frame surrounds two rather large wheels with metal bar between the two, which could only be used for direction. Noting the pedals on the bottom, Allura points, "Do those propel you forward?"

"Yes," Keith replies. He climbs onto the bike and rides it in a slow circle around her to demonstrate.

"Interesting," Allura says as she studies how it works and wonders how Keith manages to keep his balance on the two wheels. She arches an eyebrow at him the next moment, "You don't expect me to drive that thing, do you?"

He stops beside her and smiles, "No, I expect you to ride on it."

"Where?" she asks, completely bewildered.

Keith pats the place between the bars used for steering. She finally notices a small, plastic seat. Trying to stir up her courage, Allura remarks, "It doesn't look very comfortable."

"We aren't going too far," Keith replies. He smiles brightly once more, looking so handsome he almost takes her breath away, "Learning to ride a bike is a rite of passage as a child on Earth. Beyond that, they are a lot of fun."

When she still looks uncertain, he pats the seat and deepens his tone to beguile her, "Trust me, Allura."

Unable to resist his charm, Allura finally nods in acceptance. Approaching him, she asks, "How do I get on?"

She almost screams when he effortlessly picks her up and settles her on the seat while instructing, "Hold onto the bars."

Grasping the side of the bars in each hand, Allura looks down to make sure her skirt won't become caught in the wheel. She gasps the next moment when Keith kicks off and they ride down the long drawbridge together. Leaning back in the seat, she listens to him chuckle near her ear. Glancing back, Allura finds his eyes shining with humor. He stands on the pedals to lean forward and kisses her cheek before sitting back down on the seat and continuing to pedal.

Looking forward, Allura is amazed to find them part way down the country road already. As the bike lurches to the side a little, she feels panic starting to stream through her. Keith rights the bike before they fall over and relief fills her. Tightening her fingers around the bars, she asks, "How do you keep us from falling?"

She listens to him chuckle before answering, "It's called balance, Allura."

An unladylike snort escapes her. Keith laughs even louder then says, "You know, there's an old children's song about bike riding."

"What is it?" she breathlessly asks as the countryside passes them by.

As they continue down the road, and a light breeze ruffling her skirt, Allura hears Keith start to sing, "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true. I'm half crazy, over the love of you."

Feeling her heart beginning to race, a thought comes to her. Maybe she is wrong. Maybe there could be a more perfect day. Feeling her heart aglow, she listens as he continues the song, "It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage."

A bright smile crosses her face at the implications of the song as he begins riding up a large hill. Keith doesn't even sound winded as he finishes, "But you'll look sweet, upon the seat, of a bicycle built for two."

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Riding out from the stables behind the castle, Lance can barely contain his glee. He couldn't believe it at lunch when Keith said he was going for a bike ride that afternoon. It was the perfect opportunity to extract a little revenge. The last couple of times Keith has gone for a ride, it has always been the same path. Lance knew exactly what to do with the bike. It didn't take much for him to sneak down to the repair bay after lunch and mess with the bike. Now, he just has to get into position in time to watch!

Reaching the back side of the lake, Lance pulls back on the reins and jumps down. Tying the reins off, he edges around the lake so he can remain hidden yet still see the road. It should be any time now. It is the perfect place for his revenge. Lance gleefully rubs his hands together as he spots the bike at the top of the hill. His glee is gone a moment later though when he spots the bike's other occupant sitting between the handlebars.

"Oh shit!"

He can even see the look of sheer joy on Allura's face as they begin gliding down the hill. Disbelief fills him. Why the hell would Keith think to take the princess out on that bike? It isn't like it's built for two riders. Like a bad horror film, everything moves in slow motion suddenly as the bike lurches forward. He hears Allura scream as it speeds out of control. The sound of Keith's swearing echoes in the small area then Keith screams, "Hold on, Allura!" At the bottom of the hill, the bike hits a small incline that propels it into the air. Allura's skirt flies around her, revealing her frilly, purple underwear, edged in lace. The weird thought of, _At least she doesn't wear those stupid pantaloons_ goes through his head before Lance exclaims, "What the hell am I thinking!"

Before he can say or do anything else, the bike, with both of its occupants, lands in the lake with a loud splash.

"OH SHIT!"

Slapping his hand over his mouth when he realizes how loud he said that, Lance turns around and races back for the horse. He never would have messed with that bike had he known the princess would be on it. Praying she didn't get hurt at the same time praying Keith doesn't figure out it was him that sabotaged the bike, Lance races back to the castle.

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Pushing up through the surface of the lake, Keith takes a deep breath and looks around for the princess. Panic fills him when he doesn't immediately spot her. "ALLURA!"

He hears the sound of water splashing behind him. Whirling around in the water, he finds Allura coughing up water while trying to push her wet hair out of her face. Relief fills him as he glides over to her, "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she answers after coughing once more. "What happened?"

Before he can answer, Keith suddenly becomes aware of her appearance. The purple material of the sundress clings to her form while her body reacts to the chilly water they are still standing in. Trying really hard not to stare at those pert nipples sticking out at him, Keith clears his throat, "I'm not sure."

He watches Allura look down and becomes aware of her predicament. Gasping with embarrassment, she wraps her arms around her chest. Clearing his throat once more, Keith directs her to the bank, "Let's get out of the water."

After helping her up and out of the water, he pulls his backpack off and tosses it up to her, "There's a blanket in there. Hopefully, it's still dry. Cover up."

As he turns back to the water, he hears Allura call out, "What are you doing?"

"Looking for my bike," Keith answers then dives back under the surface.

From the bank, Allura fights to stop her teeth chattering from the cool winds blowing across the valley. Opening Keith's backpack, she is happy to find the blanket dry as expected. Thank the gods for military style backpacks. Wrapping it around herself, Allura lets out a happy little groan as warmth from the blanket overtakes the cold from her dunking in the lake. So much for another perfect date.

Just as she was really starting to enjoy herself, Keith lost control of the bike. Snuggling more into the blanket, she looks out over the lake to find Keith diving into the water. Shaking her head at him, she settles in the grass and starts to run her fingers through her hair in an effort to tame it. He finally surfaces with the bike in one hand, the handlebars in the other. As he wades back to the shore, Allura admires how his red t-shirt clings to his muscular form.

Reaching the shore, he tosses the bike up then climbs up out of the water. Keith looks her way to ensure her safety then bends over the bike. As he settles the handlebars back into place and examines them, Allura can't help stating, "I hope you don't think I'm going to get back on that thing."

He only shakes his head at her then goes back to looking at something else on the bike. When he is finishes a couple of minutes later, Allura hears him swearing softly under his breath. "What?"

Dropping the bike back to the ground, Keith stands and looks down at her, "Someone tampered with it. They loosened the screws by the handlebars and the cord going to the breaks. As I rode, they became looser and looser until they came apart entirely."

He settles on the ground beside her, "I'm so sorry, Allura. I wanted today to be fun for you."

Moving closer to him, Allura opens up the blanket to wrap it around his shoulders then settles with her back against his chest as he wraps the edges back around her. Sighing in content, she replies, "It's not a total loss."

She feels his lips press to the back of her head and his arms tighten around her. Looking out over the lake and enjoying the peaceful atmosphere, Allura asks, "So, how will we get back?"

He sighs deeply, his chest moving with the effort, "My radio is dead from the water."

"So…we're going to walk?" Allura asks.

"Thankfully, we're only about a mile away from the castle."

A loud unladylike snort escapes Allura, "Have you ever tried to walk a mile across rough, country terrain in heels?"

His lips move to her ear and he breathes out, the sensation causing her to shiver. Chuckling, Keith whispers, "Guess, I'll have to carry you then."

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Sitting at the main control panel in the castle control room, Coran flips through the monitors, his eyes scanning for any trouble. He flips past the drawbridge camera, gasps and flips back. Changing the view to the main screen, his mouth drops open as he watches the Commander of the Voltron Force crossing the drawbridge with the Princess of Arus on his back, her arms and legs wrapped around him. She is smiling brightly, her humor at the situation obvious. Shaking his head in disbelief at the pair, Coran mutters, "I do not want to know…"

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Later that night, Lance lies on his bed, still trying to decide whether he should be relieved or worried that Keith hadn't hunted him down upon his return. In fact, Keith was pleasant all through dinner, making everyone laugh as he described passing an old farmer with a wagon full of hay while walking with Allura on his back. The expression on the man's face had been hysterical according to Keith. Lance begged off joining everyone in the rec room and retired to his room instead. Not that he could settle to anything. He tried watching a movie on his viewer, gave it up after ten minutes. Did one hundred pushups, but even that failed to calm down the agitation within him. He had only just flopped onto his bed, his mind still racing.

Hearing a knock at his door, Lance rises and hits the button to open it. Fear fills him instantly as Keith steps through, a data-pad in his hand. The commander glances at him then moves across the room to settle his hip against Lance's desk. Watching him closely, Lance moves across the room to stand in front of him. Silence reins between the two of them until Lance can't take anymore and he demands, "Aren't you going to yell or something?"

"The fact that you are expecting me to yell at you confirms your guilt," Keith replies, in a dry tone. He presses on the data-pad then shows him a video of his tampering with the bike in the repair bay. "Not that this didn't confirm it. Given Hunk and Pidge's paranoia over their work, you should have known the repair bay has the highest security within the entire castle."

Keith tosses the data-pad on the desk. His anger bursts out of him as he charges forward, "What the hell were you thinking, Lance? You could have seriously hurt Allura!"

"I didn't know she'd be on the bike!" Lance yells back with his fists clenched.

That stops Keith in his tracks. He arches an eyebrow at him, "So the objective was just to injure me?"

"Not really, I figured you'd just jump from the bike," he mutters in disgust. "You've been such an intolerable ass lately! You yell at me for every damn thing!"

"When you act like a child," Keith retorts. He shakes his head and starts for the door.

Confused, Lance asks, "You're not going to yell at me? Hit me? Something?"

Stopping, Keith looks back at him, "I've done all of that and none of it has worked. No, I'm leaving your punishment to Allura."

"Oh shit, you wouldn't!" Lance exclaims, truly afraid for the first time.

"Oh, but I would," Keith replies with an evil smile then walks out the door.

Using every swear word he has ever learned, Lance moves back to his bed and flops on it. Even a complete ass beating from Keith would be preferable to whatever the princess would cook up. She looks so sweet and innocent, but under that innocent package is a truly evil woman when crossed.

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Buttertrappe's Annual Festival of Flowers Dance – One week later:

Standing near the refreshment table, Lance gulps down a glass of punch. The music playing barely registers with him as he refills his glass and drinks that down too. Feeling someone tapping on his shoulder, he turns to find Allura standing there with her arms crossed and her perfectly formed eyebrow arched, "What do you think you're doing?"

"I need a break, Allura," Lance complains, "I danced the first six dances in a row."

"And there is many more to go," she answers, not giving him even a moment of sympathy.

"Christ, what did I do that was so wrong?" he asks.

"Beyond ruining my date with Keith?" Allura says while tapping her foot. "That dunk in the lake ruined one of my favorite dresses."

"You're doing this to me over a dress?" Lance exclaims. "For fuck's sake! I'll buy you a new damn dress!"

"No, you'll complete your punishment, now get going," Allura orders, pointing her arm at the line of women still waiting to dance with him.

His desperate gaze moves over to the designated line, where every spinster and unwanted widow of the surrounding five villages await him. Allura had sent out special invitations to all of them, granting them one dance each with the dashing lieutenant of the Voltron Force. At the front of the line, Councilwoman Ginger Volker stands waiting. Coming in at just over three hundred pounds, she is dressed in a deep green gown that uses more material than was used to cover all the windows in the castle. With her bright, red hair in big fat sausage curls, and enough make-up on her face to make a New York City prostitute jealous, she reminds Lance of those old Southern Belle photos his aunt used to love to show him.

He turns pleading eyes back to Allura only to find no sympathy. She stomps her foot and continues to point toward the line, "Go!"

Accepting his fate, Lance walks slowly back to the line of women waiting for him. Reminded of a man heading for the hangman's noose, he mutters, "What I wouldn't give to be out on patrol!"


End file.
